How to Succeed in Therapy

Therapy most often is a process much like peeling an onion.  There are many layers of issues to peel and there are many levels of breakthroughs.  To get the most out of your therapy sessions, here are some tips:

• Pursue the truth with ardor.
• Who am I?
• Why can't I be myself?
• Question your behavior or beliefs that bother you.
•  What am I doing with my life?
• Tell the therapist your personal goals.
• I don't want to be a robot
• I want to be authentic
• I want to be confident
•  Be aware of your subconscious.
• I want to fit in
• I want to be liked
• I want to do what others are doing
• What do I like?
• Focus on one issue only and understand it fully until it's resolved completely.
• How do I react?
• How do I treat myself and others when I don't feel good about something?
• What images do you see in your mind?
• Ask for a treatment plan so your sessions are focused.
• Be conscientious and do the work after the session, review your notes.

Unemployment and Thinking Outside the Box

If you find yourself unemployed these days, look at it as an opportunity to think outside the box.  All our working lives, we live as slaves of the corporation.  We're afraid of being fired, or we get disgruntled because we are paid so little.  So if you are unemployed right now, rejoice!  It forces you to think outside the box.  Give up the old ways of thinking.  Look around you, observe, brainstorm about ways to make money.  Evaluate your budget.  Do you really need so much money?  If you don't have the latest gadget, are you afraid you will be rejected by your peers?  Are you free?  A lot of our fears are fears of rejection that put us in a box.  Break out of that box.  Think of all the fears that keep you inside the box.  Break out of the box!  Society can reject you for being different or poor, but you can bear it.  In exchange for that rejection is your freedom.  Are you afraid of being homeless?  Are you afraid of begging?  When I lost my job, I felt like my life was over.  I felt like I lost my identity, because my job gave me my self-worth.  But I learned to budget and penny pinch.  I discovered a new joy from being with very little money, but I have my mind for thinking and my heart for creativity. I began to notice my surroundings.  I used to ignore the trees and the flowers.  I used to ignore how much money I already had, compared to nothing.  And I discovered that there's no such thing as nothing.  There is everything in my life...I just didn't focus on them because my mind was focused on my lack.  I was always thinking that I lacked this, I lacked that.  And I ignored what I already had, and how much worth it had.  I found enjoyment from a simple sandwich for lunch...two slices of whole wheat bread and cheese, but being in peace.  I found enjoyment in just sitting outside with a cup of coffee and being with my thoughts.  I began to understand where I invested my time and effort.  My values changed.  I learned to value the "small" things in life.  Now, I value being able to wake up in the morning.  I value my intelligence and creativity because I can discover how to live an authentic life, instead of life in a box.

Liking Your Voice

I would wait patiently, until I heard that distinct voice that was uniquely mine, that came from my heart.  I started learning not to judge, to just notice it.  I watched how my work started to change in a nice way.  When I write now, I notice how the sentences sparkle and shine -- at least for me.  I learned to love my voice, and nurture it.  Each of us has his or her own distinct voice.  Allow that distinct voice to dominate.  That's who you are.  That is the "I am."  Experiment with your voice.  Suspend judgement.  Then sit back and let your work dazzle you.  In the end, I fell in love with my voice -- for now my writer's voice.  I want to be with it.  I want to get to know it better and completely.  That is true self-love.  It takes courage to validate your true self; but it's the only way to discover how beautiful we all are in our hearts.

First, you have to find it -- your voice.  You can do this when you're working.  As you go about your work, notice that voice that is distinctly your own.  Notice the quality -- there are many.  Maybe it's a doubting voice, or a curious voice, or a questioning voice.  For me, I grew to like the doubting voice; I use it in my writing.  But there's that critical voice, which I don't like because it makes me think of other people's work.  Then I would compare.  Is my work "as good" as his or her work?  This is how my voice wanders around in my work.  The voice is actually very interesting.  If you observe how it forms the work, how the shape changes, how the colors shimmer, it likes to accuse or emphasize certain parts.  So get to know your voice, find it, and then be friends with it.  You can apply the process of finding your voice when doing any kind of work or in any situation.